The Remarkable Life
Since 2017, Clayton and I have dedicated 2-3 days each year to a self-led personal retreat. We have done a variety of different types, sometimes booking a remote Airbnb, other times at a local coffee shop. The retreat is kicked off with an opening letter, written by Clayton outlining what to expect for the days ahead. Throughout the long weekend we spend time drafting goals for the year, reviewing the past, and knocking out some yearly planning for our family unit. In 2019 Clayton expanded this idea to family and friends, by creating the Good People Summit. Worth checking out! LMK if you want more information on this.
On our first retreat, we added ‘The Remarkable Life’ exercise to our agenda and I can boldly say, it’s changed my life.
We learned about this exercise through following Debbie Millman, a writer, designer, and brand expert. There are several blog posts about it, but we first were introduced to it via Tim Ferris’ podcast. The story goes something like this; years ago, Debbie took a creative class and was asked to ‘envision the life you would have if you pursued everything you wanted, with certainty that you would succeed’.
Her teacher gave the class three rules:
Dream Big
Don’t edit yourself
Be careful what you wish for (because it may come true)
Millman dove in and years later, she realized that nearly everything from her writing came true. And, she wasn’t alone. Other classmates had positive outcomes. After reading more about her story, we decided to incorporate this activity into our personal retreat and see what came of it.
So on July 13, 2017 with pens, a blank journal, and a pounding heart I began to write.
I was writing five years into the future. Starting in 2017 put my future self in July 2022. Part of the exercise includes detailing out your life by thinking ahead and being very specific about what your life looks like. It was hard. I found myself starting over again and again. I was afraid to write down things too lofty or admit to myself exactly what I wanted. After a few scratched out pages, I decided to be brave and really just go for it.
I wrote furiously. Page after page detailing out my future. It was a rush. I didn’t share too much with Clayton at the time, but over the last five years have mentioned “I wrote that down!” as things have manifested into reality.
And let me tell you a lot has come true already.
While some specifics are different, much of the general themes have unfolded. Some of the themes include working in a flexible and challenging work environment that provides purpose, making connections with neighbors, and the one that made me laugh most- marrying Clayton, ha!
It’s become clear to me over the years that once you say something out loud or write something down you start believing it. And once you believe it, you start subconsciously making decisions that guide you in a direction you want to go.
We’re set to do this again this summer and I’m already thinking about what I’ll be writing. I highly recommend trying this yourself. As Debbie says “write like your life depends on it, because it does”.
